Okay, I am unfortunate enough to have a phone number SIMILAR to my towns
SHITTIEST crack house ass fucking lesbian biker fuck hut of a hotel. 

Lets say my number is 555-3214, and the shit box fuck hut motel and shit
hole is 555-3241. 

I CONSTANTLY get a barrage of the dregs of the fucking universe calling my
house, I get questions like: 

Is this the Innkeeper? 
Give Me Room (what ever the fuck number the cocksuckers want) 
Etc Etc Etc. 

So last week, I was fed up, at 12:30 am one night, I got a call, mind you, I
work, and this is during my fucking sleeping time, as I DO NOT FUCKING SMOKE
CRACK, SUCK DICKS, FREEBASE WD40, SHIT IN A BOX AND COOK IT, OR HAVE ANY
OUTSTANDING WARRANTS IN THIS OR ANY OTHER GODDAMN COUNTRY AND OTHER NONSENSICAL
HORSESHIT 

Let me preface this by saying, I live in the south, NORTH CAROLINA, and the
town I am in is a center for REDNECK pride and most peoples mindset is still
in the 1860's, anyways here's what I did. 

Me: Hello (tired as fuck) 

A gruff sounding MAN: Gimme room 241. 

Me: I'm sorry, THEY requested that THEY NOT BE DISTURBED. 
Man: WHUT!? THATS MUH WIFE, WHADDYA MEAN THEY?? 

Me: Yes a lady in her 30s, and a big tall BLACK MAN, about 20 or so, checked
in THEY SAID THEY WAS NEWLYWEDS. 

Man: LISTEN HERE, YOU GIMME THAT GODDAMN ROOM NOW. 

Me: Sorry, sir I can't, they asked to not be disturbed. 
Man: What's your name? 

Me: BEN 

Man: Well, BEN I'm coming down there to beat your ass, then I'mma beat that
niggers ass. An then I'mma beat my old lady's ass, how's that sound? 

Me:I DONT THINK YOU HAVE THE BALLS YOU COCK SUCKING FAGGOT, I WILL BE WAITING
BITCH! *HANG UP* 

Rolled over, went to bed with the phone off the hook. 

My buddy, who is a cop, told me about this one night where this biker shows
up at said hotel, screaming for his wife, screaming for somebody named BEN,
and they nearly had to kill this fucker and take him to jail, as he nearly
beat his wife's room door off the hinges... 

Now I ask you, was what I did wrong? 

Is it my fault that these dregs make mistakes CONSTANTLY? I KNOW that 90
percent of the time my phone rings because of that goddamn motel fuck hut.... 

Anyways, true story.