The most astounding fact is the knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on Earth - the atoms that make up the human body - are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures. These stars, the high mass ones among them went unstable in their later years, they collapsed and then exploded scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy--guts made of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself. These ingredients become part of gas clouds that condense, collapse, and form the next generation of solar systems - stars with orbiting planets. And those planets now have the ingredients for life itself. So that when I look up at the night sky and I know that yes, we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the Universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up – many people feel small because they’re small and the Universe is big – but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars. There’s a level of connectivity. That’s really what you want in life, you want to feel connected, you want to feel relevant you want to feel like a participant in the goings on of activities and events around you. That’s precisely what we are, just by being alive.

- Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson



It is difficult to keep quiet when everything is being done wrong, but the less you lose your temper, the greater your advantage. Also, then you will not go mad yourself.

- T. E. Lawrence



The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend; they can go on and on.

- Chuck Palahniuk



Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.

— Isaac Asimov



They say "The grass is always greener." That means that you always like things more if you aren't sitting in the middle of them. For example, someone tries to steal your car, and they try really hard to crack in, but once they make it, all they get is junk under the seat, and your receipts. Now they don't want the car anymore, but it's too late. Life is like that. By the time you figure out that everything is just a scam and they want you to do all the dirty work, you die. If you ask someone "Do you want to never work again and never gain weight?" They would say yes, but it turns out that's called death.

— M R CRACKER



Sex Ed:

The blood rushes into the penis, which is basically an elongated clitoris made of the same erectile tissue as the labia. Then the man puts his repurposed clitoris into the vagina, which is lubricated by mucus (just like snot) and after a while the man ejaculates, which means a funny smelling liquid called semen (which comes from a gland in his asshole) mixes with some tiny worm-like creatures and then shoots out from where he pees. So sex is basically snot and blood and ass gravy and worms all thrown into a big sweaty bowl that can produce a baby, which costs on average $28,000 a year. Any questions?



Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

- H.L. Mencken



Nobody ever brings anything small into a bar. And then I introduce them to Harvey, and he's bigger and grander than anything they offer me. And when they leave, they leave impressed. The same people seldom come back; that's envy my dear, and there's a little bit of envy in the best of us.

-Elwood P. Dowd



LOOK AT THIS SHIT! (Holds a newbie mapper by the back of his head and hits him with a newspaper) I suggest that you use low res textures and don't even bother compiling light because you're an asshole!

-Castle



Everyone is entitled to an informed opinion.

-Harlan Ellison



All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you.
Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer.

-IBM maintenance manual, 1925



A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

-Mitch Ratcliffe



If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside.

-Robert Cringely



The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement . . . This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.

-FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers



Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

-Italian proverb



The only industries left that support employees being forced to work 16 hour days are computer-related industries, and that's only because the workers are far too obese to find a rope which won't snap when they attempt to hang themselves.

-Lowtax



Hey guys, lets start a black hole of confidence and self worth ending with at least one person face down in an abandoned bathroom in some run down neighborhood killed by his own broken spirit.

-Castle



I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over them long winter evenings.

-Philip Marlowe



So we finish the eighteenth and I say, "Hey, Lama, how about a little something, you know, for the effort." And he says, "Oh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

-Carl Spackler



There is a persistent myth that the stars can be seen in daylight when one stands at the bottom of a well. I don't know whether that's true or not because I'm better versed in well-avoidance than Little Timmy ever was. I can tell you why the myth appeals, though. It's because it's only when you feel like everything in your life is completely fucked that you come face to face with the core of things. It's a great wall of ice, buried at the bottom of the swamp. It stretches to infinity. It is your mortality, your brutal, utter insignificance. It is existence stripped of every surface thing you ever thought made existence good. Facing it, you realise that it has an austere beauty, that stripped of all the trappings that make life bearable, even existence itself is a miraculous thing.

Others never find it, flail inches from it in the mud their whole lives, hover above the ice on a veneer of lies and cutting or die before they reach it. They go to the bottom of the well only to drown.

Don't give up, don't cave in. Don't confuse the surface with the core. You have one gift, greater than any other and eternal. Nothing bad matters.


-The Artificial Kid



I hope that you have not been, thus far, under the impression that I am an infallible source for data of any kind. As it turns out, I am a person who likes to play videogames a lot, as much as anybody, and my opinions are based on a number of factors - prior experience, gin, mood, whatever. My perspective on many games remains fairly stable, but especially in the PC world where patching can wholly alter an experience, my positions are somewhat malleable. In addition, particularly in the case of a series like Tribes in which I am very seriously invested, a certain amount of whimsy comes into play.

It's very much like relationships I have had, where one minute I am buying one of those grape ring-pops and mock-proposing in the aisle at the grocery store, and the next minute I am trying to find a way to kill her with only the contents of my pockets.

-Tycho (Penny Arcade)



The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey - don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride..." And we... kill those people.

"We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and my family. This just has to be real."

Just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter because: It's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love.

-Bill Hicks, Revelations



Boobies are good, so are small shiny complicated things, large shiny doodads, loud thingies and smelly wotsits. A small silver automated farting machine that can be controlled over the internet would keep most men occupied for decades.

We're simple creatures.

-Zakalwe



Story in a game is like story in a porn movie. It's expected to be there, but it's not that important.

-John Carmack



Only a nation as desperate to be loved as the United States would fret about, rather than chuckle over the Orwellian irony of being lectured to about arrogance by the French and about militarism by the Germans.

-Louis Ruykeyser



Soccer should stay absolutely the same. Except for some snipers, and some kind of pneumatic device for lobbing an angry badger onto the field every 10 minutes.

-Knifey_Smurf



Thermodynamic miracles... events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. I long to observe such a thing.

And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter... Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... that is the crowning unlikelihood. The thermodynamic miracle.

But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget. We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take the breath away.

Come, dry your eyes, for you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg; the clay in which the forces that shape all things leave their fingerprints most clearly.

-Dr. Manhattan



I was in New York on 9-11 when the towers came down. I lived 14 blocks from the twin towers. And when they came down, I thought that the world had ended. And I remember walking around in a daze for weeks. And Mayor Giuliani had said to the city, "You’ve got to get back to normal. We’ve got to show that things can change and get back to what they were."

And one day I was coming out of my building, and on my stoop, was a man who was crouched over, and he appeared to be in deep thought. And as I got closer to him I realized, he was playing with himself. And that’s when I thought, "You know what, we’re gonna be OK".

-Jon Stewart



The entire premise makes me want to vomit out my intestines in the hopes that they'll wrap around my neck, catch on something, and strangle me."

-elpintogrande



If you are an artist of some sort, regardless of the true value of your work (as if such a thing could be really measured on a 20 point scale), it is your craft to manipulate the player's perceptions and his deep seated need for some kind of fullfillment (thumbsucking, sex, First Person Shooters, it's all the same), and convice him that the several minutes he put into playing your level was a valuable use of his time.

He wants to think that the seven-story high castle he sees in-game is just about the most awesome thing he has ever experienced in his life, not knowing that you created with a few brushes a replica of something doodled or seen in a photo gallery on line, and then you scaled it up by a factor of 10 in your editor before adding the entities. Sitting on the table of a mess hall in the same level, the very same brushes would not be nearly so impressive.

He wants to think that the sustained attack by a dozen creatures that forced him to strafe for his dear life was the most blood curdling experience of his life, not knowing you set it up with a few targeted entities and wait periods so he would have a fighting chance.

There is no reason to disavow the player of his psychological payoff. You should do everything you can to encourage it; it is really how you are judged as a mapper...as a mapper, you are a illusionist, not a master mason. After you have some basic skills in place, texture alignment, entity placement, and basic brush manipulation, it is just a matter of putting it all together.

Mapping is a hobby, like fly fishing. It is also a profession for some, like auto mechanics; don't make more out of it than it actually is.

-Headthump



Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good. That honor, virtue, and courage mean everything; that money and power mean nothing. That good always triumphs over evil. That true love never dies. Doesn't matter if they're true or not. A man should believe in those things anyway. Because they are the things worth believing in.

-Hub McCann



Journey exists in a dimension totally different from other bands. In this dimension, terms like "taste" and "artistic sense" and "musicality" do not exist. Instead, musical greatness is measured purely in how many people can sing along. In this dimension, Beethoven sucks Steve Perry's cock.

-chumpchous



The feminist angle for banning porn is the same as the fundamentalist muslim argument for forcing women into burkhas.

-King Bahamut



Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - 'No, you move.'

-Captain America



Consider this - unless you believe in reincarnation, then just consider the unlikeliness of your position - over all time and space, consider all the possible sentient beings that have ever lived, are currently living, and will ever live. It's a large number. You're one of them.

What the christ are the chances that out of all the times and places that you could have been born in, you happen to be living in one where you can sleep at night without fear of being eaten by a monster; you know exactly when and where your next meal is coming from (and have the luxury of being able to pick and choose about it). If you're ill, or injured you can be healed by technology, and what's more there's a good chance all your children are going to survive you.

For most of us, our biggest worry is what danger-free occupation we're going to concern ourselves with for one-third of each day (well, for 5 out of 7 days at least). The rest of the time we are either sleeping or entertaining ourselves with sex, drugs, or the latest toy.

We are privileged bastards.

-Kinn



Nature's all "well humans, see that moon? Yeah, it's like, hundreds of thousands of miles away. And even if you were patient enough to go that far, you can't get out of your atmosphere. And even if you could, there's no air. And if you somehow manage to evolve to the point where you no longer need to breathe (good luck!) there's fuck all there", and we're all "fuck you and the horse you rode in on, we're gonna build a rocket powerful enough to get out of the atmosphere, fast enough to get us there in a week, make snazzy spacesuits with tons of air, and when we get to the moon, we're gonna play golf, just because we fucking can."

-Igiari



Michelangelo said the best way to judge the essential elements of a sculpture is to throw it down a hill and the unimportant pieces will break away. Sometimes life is like that. It tosses us down a hill. But when we reach the bottom and only the important things are left that's when our vision clears. That's when we hold on tight to what we know will bring us happiness. It's all a matter of perspective.

-Everwood



No one imagines that a symphony is supposed to improve in quality as it goes along, or that the whole object of playing it is to reach the finale. The point of music is discovered in every moment of playing and listening to it. It is the same, I feel, with the greater part of our lives, and if we are unduly absorbed in improving them we may forget altogether to live them.

-Alan Watts



If you are going through hell, keep going.

-Churchill



Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.

Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here. And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.

-source unknown



Making games is like making hotdogs - its messy, scary, and not at all like enjoying the end product.

-Sigma-X



Illegal immigrants serve the same purpose as blacks did fifty years ago (and, for that matter, slaves in the Civil War, too). They're a catalyst and a scapegoat for the system/institutions run by rich capitalists - the real cause of all that lovely economic injustice - to inspire fear and anger that can be misdirected and deflected. A few decades ago, it was the blacks' fault that poor, ignorant white people couldn't get ahead, not the system. Taking our jobs, committing crimes, using precious government resources, etcetera. Now the target has changed.

It helps that they're "different" in their culture and appearance, too - makes them easier to evoke the fear of anything alien that runs rampant in poor white culture. The usual talking points, too - "If only it weren't for _______________, we would be more prosperous, safer, and our social services would be more efficient."

It's really easy to pretend that the sad motherfucker who has it much worse than you do is the one making your life difficult. Never mind the fact that the poor black/hispanic/slave works for nothing and will never achieve even close to what is considered the American Dream. If only the _________ weren't around, life would be carefree, idyllic and we would all share in the riches that they are stealing from you hardworking folks.

American history is full of rich white men manipulating poor white men into believing that poorer dark men are the reason for all of their problems.

-cloudnine



I figured I could get a job at a filling station somewhere, putting gas and oil in people's cars. I didn't care what kind of job it was, though. Just so people didn't know me and I didn't know anybody. I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn't have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody. If anybody wanted to tell me something, they'd have to write it on a piece of paper and shove it over to me. They'd get bored as hell doing that after a while, and then I'd be through with having conversations for the rest of my life. Everybody'd think I was just a poor deaf-mute bastard and they'd leave me alone.

— J.D. Salinger



Broccoli is a lot like anal sex. If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.

- The Cheshire Cat



What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?

- Plato



The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.

- Hermann Goerring



Inspiration is for amateurs - the rest of us just show up and get to work. And the belief that things will grow out of the activity itself and that you will - through work - bump into other possibilities and kick open other doors that you would never have dreamt of if you were just sitting around looking for a great ‘art idea'. And the belief that process, in a sense, is liberating and that you don't have to reinvent the wheel every day. Today, you know what you'll do, you could be doing what you were doing yesterday, and tomorrow you are gonna do what you did today, and at least for a certain period of time you can just work. If you hang in there, you will get somewhere.

- Chuck Close, painter



Re: Game Design

Let's say you've been put in charge of planning a child's birthday party, for some reason -- maybe you lost a bet or something. You've got one day to plan, a $50 budget, and five people to help you. Not a big deal, right? Put some balloons in the yard and hire a clown. Done. But what if that party was for a rich kid and your budget was $50 million? Do you think that makes it easier or harder? Let's put it this way: Instead of five friends helping you, it's 500 strangers, and all of them have different ideas about what a party should look like. How long until you see your first fistfight break out? How far into the party before you hear yourself scream, "OK, who hired the stripper?!?"

- Dave Williams



He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

- Friedrich Nietzsche



I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is.

- Sister Joan Chittister




LEGAL FÆCES

The Doom and Quake games are registered trademarks of id Software. Portal 2 is a registered trademark of Valve Software. The Trackmania games are registered trademarks of Nadeo Software. All these games have all rights reserved. Use of any and all programs downloaded from this site is at the downloader's risk. This site is copyright Patrick J. Williams 2000 2013, other than the various contents of the Media Page which are the sole responsibility of various Creative and/or Crazy People On The Internet.